Mental Illness in Men, yep I am that guy
I am one of those guys that when I started having issues I played it off as just “life” I took it as the outcomes of life’s journey and didn’t think much more about it. That was until I had a family I had to be around all the time. At first I kept denying the idea that I was in fact suffering and that I needed help. I never really had anyone ask me how I was doing. Most the time I chalked it up as one of those moments in life where the people involved were just there for a minute in time and after that I would be on my own again to figure out the next move in life. I thought that as we grow the interaction between other people and me was limited and I didn’t allow myself to get attached. I thought surely this was not how life worked and I was would bounce back like I did when I was a kid. I mean it’s the way life is, right?
We all have our journey in life and each of us is built to endure the journey before us. That’s it we should shrug the shoulders, dust off our pants and get back at life because everyone feels the same and I shouldn’t be acting like this. I don’t know how long I’ve been like this but I don’t recall a time in life were I was deferent then I am today. I have lived in this mental state for so long I was not aware of a difference and that I could be happy.
Today there is more information out there that brings to light that the life I have been living isn’t the life I have to live. I know now that I am troubled by my past and that I make life choices based on the life I am use to. I am on a mission to find out just what it takes to get to this point in my life where my past doesn’t impact my future and where I can live happy. I want to build a group of men that can lead the way for other men to open up and let the world help them carry the weight of life. I want to help men get past their trauma and live better futures, futures they didn’t believe possible.
With me Mental Health became somewhat an everyday battle when I got out of the Marine Corps and even before I was out. I didn’t understand why all the sudden this life I was living didn’t seem so right, I felt stuck in a looping moment in life that the scenario was different but the outcome was the same, nothing was changing. I matured a lot earlier than most and I in turn experienced some of the worst of life at a very young age. This was something I thought better prepared me for what I was to go through in the years to come, it felt natural and I thought I didn’t have a choice so I guess it was my way of making it feel normal or what I thought was normal. Growing up so fast and having to rely on myself for survival I did what I thought was right and in the moment was getting me what I needed to make me happy. It was cool at the time because I was doing things that my friends weren’t doing and they thought it was cool too, hell a 13 year old I was driving to school in my 1977 Cadillac, I bought this car at 13 for $300 it smoked going down the road like I was the mosquito sprayer truck but I didn’t care I was free, free to do just what I wanted with no one to tell me no. looking at my boy who is now 13 and realizing just how young I was is scary. I defiantly had a guardian angel, blessed to have not hurt someone or myself for that matter. I was introduced to sex and drugs at a very young age and used both as means to make money to live, eat and survive. I thought this was the way life was so it didn’t feel wrong at the time. I even joined a gang to find that family I didn’t have, this only made things worse as I went even further down the rabbit hole. I was so young and yet had a full plate of responsibilities so to me this was the way of life and I made the best of it. Knowing now what I know I can look back at so many things I was doing and thank God for helping me through it. I was 36 before I had the first mental break and man was it a kick in the gut! Thank God for my wife without her I would have become a statistic.
This is why I felt I could make it because I always have.
There comes a time in this journey that we find out that God had been protecting us from everything because we were children. God guides us through those times because we are not capable of doing it, but there comes a time when God allows us to become self-reliant and in my opinion it’s when we become young adults when we have the intellectual ability to take on our own struggles and figure it out. It’s like he lets us free to see if we find our way back to him. Here I am a young adult now I am responsible for the outcome to this adult version of myself. All the sudden you find out that you do not know how to live life in any other way other than fighting to make it and all these emotions we have are actually the byproduct of the life we lived, our choices we make today reflect the past because we are making decisions solely on what we know and if you lived like I did I made mine on survival and my next meal. I felt even more alone in my young adult years driving deeper my mental break, I had no idea just how bad I was and it wasn’t till I became responsible for the lives of other that I realized that I had been going about life all wrong and truly didn’t know what I was doing. I call this fake it till you make it and because it was only me I didn’t worry the outcome so much, well once the wife and kids came in to my life things changed and I became so confused because what I was doing would not work for this situation and I had no idea where to even begin. This was the first eye opener and the start to the beginning of my mental break down. The stress of life became real and survival was not the goal, I needed to be able to provide for this family I had and it wasn’t going to happen the way I had survived this far. So I am not one to take life sitting down and I dove right in… to be continued
Mental health is a difficult challenge for anyone to face and men are the worst at facing mental health problems. So I decided I would attack the problem head on and I would not let this be my demise. Mental Health affects men and women of all ages and demographics. There is no escaping your mental health and sanity so you might as well find a way to get ahead of it. Mental Health causes different symptoms in men than in women meaning some disorders in men may be harder to recognize like we can with women. Men who are depressed may seem angry and grouchy rather than sad and withdrawn and we may find ways to distance ourselves from our loved ones like taking longer routes home or disappearing around the house just to get a few minutes of silence. It also may be harder for men with depression to ask for help. I am one of those that have a hard time asking for help. If you think your weak or you are not worth it, you are wrong! I swallowed my pride and spoke up looking for answers anywhere I could find them. Being proactive about your mental and physical health doesn’t just benefit you, it will benefit your family even more and you will see that life can be so much better. Today I want you to reach out to your loved ones and tell them how you feel, allow them to be your support network because you cannot do this alone and I promise you this doesn’t just go away. You might be able to fight it for a while and you might be able to overcome it for a minute but it will eventually make its way out and when it does it will be like a huge elephant sitting on your chest. Breathing will become a task, so why not be proactive and start your journey to the best you! Below is a little information on PTSD, depression and Anxiety. These are the most common mental health issues men face but are not the only ones we face.
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Mayo Clinic states – Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder. It is caused by witnessing a violent or life-threatening event, such as war. It is common in men who have served in combat but not all men who experience PTSD have been to combat. Dealing with PTSD often times you will relive the traumatic event as if it was happing today. You will have a hard time dealing with trust and you will feel on guard all the time. Terrifying nightmares, day dream, and flash backs can occur, and you may feel emotionally numb and detached from your loved ones and friends. You might have panic attacks, and find it hard to keep a job and relationship problems will most always be present, depression is a given because you get to making yourself believe negative thoughts about yourself and things in your life I have experienced suicidal thoughts and even had a few failed attempts at it, thank God I am still here and you too!
The Women in your life may have symptoms like feeling on edge or anxious as a result of PTSD. Us men well we get angry and aggressive and feel like we are in a bad mood all the time and tired. I had never abused drugs or alcohol as a way to cope until my 40s I started feeling the symptoms much worse as I got older and grab a drink and then grabbed another to help relax, next thing I knew I was drinking daily and a lot more than usual and I wasn’t ever a drinker before so I queued in on this and I have since been working on finding more positive ways to combat the stressors I am facing and I encourage you to do the same thing.
Coping with mental health issues
If you are suffering from a mental health illness, treatment will let you lead a full, productive life. Mental illnesses are difficult to deal with and painful and we don’t feel like we can get through it when we are in the midst of the storm, but they are all very treatable. Most traditional treatments may include counseling, medicine, or both. If you’re like me traditional therapy isn’t much help and you are looking for other ways to cope, I think if you are looking for help you have come to a good place to find ways to get help. I have been working with doctors and research scientist in developing a program that will offer the against the grain treatments many are looking for like that of the Stellate Ganglion Block and Micro- Current therapies that use micro current to help combat the effects of PTSD and Anxiety, understand these illnesses are complex and not all therapy will work for everyone. Having a strong network of loved ones and friends willing to help you recover is going to make your recovery much easier and faster. Through Saving Forgotten Warriors and the network I have built we have found many promising treatments and are looking at combinations of such treatments as I write this blog.
It’s important to know that you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. These conditions are illnesses, not weaknesses. The same goes for any addictions you might have. If you want to get your life back on track and are ready to give your 100% then reach out to SFW or myself though here and we can get you connect with help in or around your area.
- Here are a few tips to get you started:
Seek medical help, talk to your primary care provider. Healthcare providers are used to dealing with these issues. He or she can help you get the treatment you need. In some cases, the ability to treat your issues without medication can be possible. There is hope and help!
Look into groups on Facebook or in your local area that can help. There are groups dedicated to helping people like us and they have a lot to offer many times can have the resources to help you find local help. Look up PTSD Support groups or Stellate Ganglion Block groups to get started.
Stress management. Stress at work and at home can worsen the symptoms of many mental illnesses. Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself to do things you enjoy. You may also want to see if deep breathing, meditation, or stretching help you relax. No matter what find a way you can disconnect and relax for 30 minutes a day.
Gym time. Daily exercise, just 30 minutes, can help relieve the symptoms of depression. People who exercise regularly in their free time are less likely to have this mood disorder or be affected by this disorder.
Get your health back on track. If you want to win you have to practice and when you get yourself in the best shape you can be in then you are better able to combat the effects of PTSD and other mental health issues. Exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep, and eat healthy meals with lots of fruits and vegetables.
Feel like you can no longer do it alone? Then call for help I promise you they are waiting on the call. Call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room. Ask a friend or family member to stay with you. Don’t stay alone. You can also call the toll-free 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255); TTY: 800-799-4TTY (4889) and talk to a trained counselor.
Man's Daily Struggle 
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